Viva Dubai?

Dubai has been on the top of my 5 cities to visit before 2012 (Buenos Aires, Bangkok, Rio, Tokyo are the other 4 for those of you that want to plan a trip with me)...I was able to get 20% closer to my goal last weekend when I fled to Dubai from Kuwait. I don't want to bash Dubai because of one very short lived weekend....but let's just say it’s not my kinda city. Let me preface my observations by saying I was expecting Vegas...and got an LA instead.

All the good things in Dubai come at a price, which makes you hate the things you love about the city.

Traffic & Construction
The architecture is stunning, and you'll be amazed on how much development has occurred in the last 3 years. Structures like the Burj Al-Arab, Atlantis and Emirates Towers are jaw dropping structures...almost to the point that you're intimidated to actually walk inside.

BUT because of these damn skyscrapers, there’s construction EVERYWHERE. During the day all you hear are cranes, drilling, trucks beeping while reversing and all the clinkety clank noises that make you wanna throw a rock at these Bob the Bengali Builders (I swear I'm not racist). So you escape from the apartment only to find yourself in a cluster fuck of traffic (spending 90 minutes in traffic is a common practice)....even if it’s midnight!

Pretty Places but ugly faces
The clubs are amazing, the lighting, the dance floors, and the music….my favorite being 360….It’s an open area club on the water where you can see the Burj Al-Arab (the sail) on the right side, and the Jumeirah Beach Hotel (wave) on the left. Crowd is diverse….and pretty much everyone is speaking a foreign language.

BUT getting a drink at this place is bloody difficult. The bartenders are not these hunky guys or girls with boobies….their all either flip (from the Philippines) or Indian and can barely reach over the bar….they move at the pace of a sloth, and the only way you get served is if they understand your accent. Yup, I was screwed…standing at the counter was like being on a trading floor….I had all sorts of people reaching over my shoulder, yelling out jibrish that apparently the bartenders understood. So I adopted the same technique….but all of sudden when I did… the record stopped! Everybody on the counter just paused and stared at me like I just arrived from Mars….but hey it got the bartender’s attention. I realized the glares were justified after the bartender told me that Smirnoff is their top of the shelf vodka…and asking for Grey Goose is the equivalent of asking for a Pink Flamingo : D

OH did I forget to mention a Smirnoff single is around $16 bucks –

Just another transition city
I’m all about Diversity…and Dubai really caters to the masses. When standing in line, there was a group of Asian folk behind us and they had the thickest Australian accents. How funny is that shit….imagine Jackie Chan with a Steve Irwin (The crocodile hunter that got hunted) voiceover. It’s the only city in the world where you can go on a Desert Safari, then Shop & Ski at the Mall of Emirates, followed by a nice dinner at Trader Vics on the River walk, only to throw up your meal after going to a Mujra (google it) , and then finish the night at a Salsa Spot.

BUT Dubai is what I like to call a “transition city”….everybody that actually lives there is going through some temporary phase in their life which brought them to Dubai. Also, you will rarely meet a person that’s been in Dubai for 10+ years. Majority of the population is living hand to mouth because housing & cost of living is just stupidly expensive ($3000 a month for a studio in Marina). Dubai’s flashy and over the top mission statement (Jack of all trades, master of none) has permeated throughout the society…where everyone is caught in this weird identity crisis and pretty plastic so good luck trying to make friends when you go out.